something's brewing in the back of my mind.. i feel it. It feels familiar... it feels selfish, but not in a good way. I'm not focusing on myself, so drama rears its ugly head. I'm having trouble even focusing on writing this post.
I'm terrified he's going to forget me or stop loving me or easily put me aside for his career.
That's what I want to say, that's what's shouting at me from down there. But hey, what's wrong with this picture? He needs to put himself first too, to be happy, to be productive, to be inspired, to move forward in life. He is his number one, I should be my number one. It is perfectly reasonable for such a talented and ambitious guy to stop at nothing to make his dream come true. The scary thing for me is, that he dreams big, and he makes things happen. I don't understand how it's nearly impossible to make my heart calm down for a second and realize that our paths with probably grow in parallel, despite the fact that we might have different schedules. Why is it so hard to be reassured by this?
I'm indulging in drama just thinking about this (bullshit).
Why can't I just remember how beautiful life is from the macro to the micro.
P fixed the dvds we were trying to watch the other day. Sweetheart.
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