Some better, some worse

Things have gotten significantly better since my last post. I have been seeing a therapist and P and I are in a great place. We have been for the past few months. I don't know if it's because he worked so much overtime in October, November, December, but I think absence made both our hearts grow fonder. I am more patient about the state of the house and he takes more initiative with tidying up. Somehow we've met in the middle.

I am writing now, not only to update since the last gloomy blog post, but also because I was really kind of shaken by my neighbour. Maybe i'm totally blowing this out of proportion, but I'm writing it down because if it is all my head, then putting it here will get it out. I approached my neighbour, with whom I am normally in good standing with. We chit chat when we cross paths, she is also from the Maritimes, so that created a short bonding moment and we seem to have things in common (like our desire to can things in the summer). Tonight I approached her because the Hydro Quebec man came to my door to change the mechanical meters to "smart" (ie. wireless) meters. We have six meters that live in our basement, directly below our bedroom. If I was in my old apartment, where the meters lived 3 floors below me in a garage, I wouldn't be writing this blog post.

Now call me paranoid, but if I can have one less wireless signal in my life, I'll do something to make that happen. Yes, I am writing this from my laptop which is connected to our wifi, but there's something about the fact that Hydro Quebec is imposing this on us, that just makes this all too much for me. Yes, they say it's a lower signal than cell phones, but if this is so negligible, than why are countries and provinces refusing the implementation of these "smart" meters? Yes, i've done my research. Yes, the Canada Health pages say there's no problem, but there's something in me that's just doesn't feel right about this.

I approached my neighbour because another neighbour upstairs emailed me concerned about the same things. Trying to be polite and not too "are you for or against this?",  I asked her if she wanted to be apart of the conversation since a few of the other tenants wanted to approach the landlord. She said, as the hydro guy said, "well the it's not the landlord's decision, they have nothing to do with it" -- funny, that I would think to consult the landlord about a permanent change to their building, how silly of me... gee.. I guess i'll just make all the decisions for all future tenants.

ok ok. Cool it, Adèle. This makes me mad because I felt ridiculed. The comment that followed her statement about all the research she did about the meters really got me fuming inside, she said, "well, I let the hydro guy replace the meters today, so it's already in the building". It's already in the building? Are you saying that like a threat? It felt like a comment that totally dismissed any of my concerns and diminished them to hokey pokey. It felt like a comment so above my concerns. She followed it up with : (looking at her iPad) "well, I'm really pro technology so we've got a wireless haven in there. We're pretty much rewiring our daughters brain".

Uhmm.. good for you? Something about her comment just felt so weird. I'm good at identifying when someone is not saying what they mean to say, but I'm terrible at calling them on it, and I don't really know how to respond because I want to respond to what I know they want to say, but they aren't saying it. So i'm left feeling really weird.

Anyway, it took a hip opening yoga session in my basement to calm me down.

I feel sad that P is sort of unaffected by the replacement of the meters. Usually we play for the same team, but this time he's not bothered whereas cancer-on-both-sides-of-the-family me is a little more invested. He still listens to me, but his uh-huhs aren't exactly a rallying cry.

Oh well, I guess I can't have it all. The meters will probably go up, but if I can delay it great. Then good luck finding an apartment in Montreal where they haven't already been installed.

Sometimes I hate this world.

Geez.. now if that's not a gloomy ending I don't know what is.

I also wanted to write this post to get back into the writing thing. I feel I've seriously neglected my output and, if anything, it's really nice to look back on older posts. So I should be better about keeping some things written, even if it is only stupid meters.

On that note, here's to more blogging.