Just Do It!

Somehow the stars aligned last night. I was in class watching this feminist movie. It was bizarre. A film about the condition of women in the seventies. The women were principally factory workers, waitresses, strippers, all kinds of jobs at the service of men. It was criticizing the limitations and lack of respect women had at the time, but what struck me was the the filmmaker was not giving any sense of validation to the work these women were doing. It's sort of serendipitous because I had a brief conversation about this very thing last friday with Vnss. Women who do this kind of work, who are we to make them feel bad about it? Who are we to see no value in it? Things need to be made, plates need to be cleaned, I'm not saying only women or only men should be doing this, but instead of seeing the denigration through the gender, we should just value the work these people are doing. I'm unsure at what age we're programmed to believe this kind of work is not noble, or doesn't deserve the same respect as lawyers and doctors.

It's like the old tale about how in Germany plumbers make as much money as doctors, because they are as valuable to society as doctors. I don't know why we have all these divisions here. This is a kind of mythical story I remember from childhood. I don't actually know if plumbers are as valued as doctors in Germany.

This film left me feeling like I was doomed not to achieve anything in life. That the cards were inevitably stacked against me no matter what I did in life. If I try, like I am now, to focus on being a good person, instead of getting ahead in life, then, I'll be left behind. I felt pretty anxious after this whole thing. Feminist films make me so anxious!

The thought that came to mind to remedy this feeling of not doing anything with my life more than working a retail job (which is awesome and a big part of my personal journey, but there is a part of me that looks down on this for some reason) was that when I went to the cinémathèque the other day, the girl working there was really nice. I thought 'I wonder how people get jobs there... I should just go and ask her!' Then I get home, reply to several emails, and then I read one from Lé about the cinémathèque currently hiring! My fear says, 'don't do it, Bummis is so comfortable and good for you' but my brain says 'oh my god! you can do this job! what perfect timing! Do it!' In the spirit of just doing things (and not thinking about them so much), I applied for a job at the cinémathèque.

I'm a bit anxious to see if i'll go through this process, because applying doesn't always mean getting considered. Scary, but somewhat exciting.