I'm teeterring between wanting to say 'I hate you! I hate all of you (men)!' and 'I'm sad, and hurt, and confused, and wish I had the will-power to push you away and get a hold of myself.'
I need to let it go. Focus on me. I've got lots of cool studying to do this weekend, a good meal to prepare for Monday, many things need to be done. I'm just not going to think about his sudden departure, and how it pierced my heart with a fiery dagger.
I've got to think about the fun that I had with Vnss, the sweeet twenty dollar bill we found on the floor, and the wonderful tipsy haze that currently envelops my brain.
There are good things in this world. Not everything needs to be complicated. Not everything needs to mean something. There might ne more meaning in what I snack on right now that anything else that has happenned to me over the last month.
Prioritize. Prioritize. Prioritize.
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I have been keeping that writer from Sophie Calle on the edge of my mind since last thursday, close to the creme brulee and the escargots, and how much I like eating with you in places where we are a little bit uncomfortable. I can't even remember what it is she wrote exactly, but it felt like I was putting my mind in my heart or the other way around. And it felt good.
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