In the same way, I went to talk to my prof today: the renowned Carole Zucker. I talked about a text I’m teaching to the class with a partner. Then I went on to ask her about her graduate studies at NYU. She said it was good at the time she was there, but that things have changed a lot. I told her about my film preservation angle, and she encouraged me to look at schools in England. She said the teaching style is different there and that I could probably get a grant if money was an issue. It was really nice; she said “you’re made for graduate school”. Then she said something like, “come see me more often about this graduate school thing”.. this is so awesome.
At this point, I’m totally confused about graduate school, but in such a lovely way.
Oh yeah! This is totally unrelated to my epiphany. Well.. let’s say, feeling good about school led me there. I realized, I think I can handle being Vncnt’s friend. I had the following feeling today: everything’s going to be ok. I’m not going to be broken because of him. (The big epiphany was this: ) He’s not good for me! I’M not good for me when he’s in the picture. I’m always bending for him. I want to be good to me, because there are certain things in life that are more important to me than him. Graduate school being one.
I think I’m going to tell him. I think I’ll say something like: I’m going to be ok. You don’t need to worry about this. We can be grand old friends.
I mean, I’ll secretly be thinking: ‘Man, look at what you’re missin’!’ and ‘Dude, in 15 years, you’re going to be in love with me.. but hey, I might not want you then. So there!”
Unrelated: My love of NY has again been restored. Fuck I love that city.
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