Sunday, November 14, 2010

Purging

What am I afraid of?

I've been having these meltdowns more frequently lately. I know it's because i'm stressed, about school, but I feel like they're beginning to get out of hand.

What am I afraid of?

Not doing well in school. Being mediocre. Being rejected (especially by scholarship foundations). Being so full of debt that I can't relate to the people around me anymore. Not finding a job I like. Not being strong enough to be proactive about being happy. Losing myself in my stress and fear. Not having ideas about interesting things. Not being curious. Not being ambitious. Losing touch with myself. Losing the people I care about. Being so scared of losing the people I care about that I push them away from me.

Not being able to overcome my fear of expressing my feelings and needs.

I'm afraid that I will be the only source to my unhappiness.

I'm afraid that I silence myself.

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True fearlessness is not a reduction of fear, but moving beyond it. And discovering fearlessness comes from working with the softness of the human heart.

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Fears, I acknowledge you. Now let's get on with the show.

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