Maturity

On my way home from school today, biking up the Park hill, I realized my previous post was a complete and utter lie. I have not cut my sugar consumption, I've been eating one Camino chocolate bar per day for the last 4 days! Funny how one little good deed (in my case, eating a carrot and drinking ginger tea) erases all the bad little things.

I've been thinking a lot about the way I eat lately. I think I've pretty much kicked the habit of eating out. I've been on this home-cooking thing for a while now, but it's only in the last few months that i've really gone at it, making meals every day that are nutritious and different. Jamie Oliver's got lots to do with that. And now i've discovered Nigella. Domestic Goddess. Something about these English ways makes everything seem so easy-peasy.

The things that have been falling into place are my attitudes I've carried with me on the backburner since my adolescence. I've finally found a place to shelve those body-image worries. Funnily enough, for the first time, ever, in my life I thought 'Geez -- I hope I don't get too thin!' Don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near 'too thin', but it's really funny that all these teen worries have finally been mellowed. This is something of a revelation. For those who knew me when I was in my teens, I had as many issues with my body-image as the next girl. Always worried. Always self-deprecating.

I don't want to play the 'blame the parents' card, but really, if they would have pushed me into exercise a little bit more, I think things would have been totally different.

It's funny and a little bit sad that most of the things that I felt so sharply in my teens have had the wind taken out of them. The older I get, the more prespective I have, the more I think about my former self with gentleness and that old 'everybody goes through it' kind of attitude.

I wish we understood that more when we were young. I remember people saying that it would pass, but never really believing them.

So things fall into place as time goes on... how about that?