boys just want to have fun

I've got too many thoughts in my head to write out something that makes sense.

P and I were on a break this week. We came back this weekend and I asked him what he thought about this week. He said 'it's simple, I just want to have fun'.

Too much confusion ensued for me to make sense of it here. I've never come so close to saying 'I can't do this'.

We're speaking two different languages and i'm scared that i'm going to end this because something gets lost in translation.

I say I have no expectations, I just want to be with someone who wants to be with me, I want to take it one day at a time, I want to be in this 100% until it lasts -- for however long that may be.

He says I want to have fun.

Are we saying the same thing in different words?

I have so many questions. I feel like i'm floating. I feel like a hypocrite. I feel like I've been talking like I know what it's like to be in a relationship... and now i'm rethinking the whole thing. Where we ever in a relationship?

I don't know what to do... this situation has become so complicated I can't even find my compassion.