Backing Off

Things are going remarkably well these days, I have a paper worth 40% of my grade due by friday and i just started my research tonight. Normally, a major crisis would be happening right now, but instead, I'm only having mild panic attacks.

I've decided I'm going to write my papers my way, about what I care about: compassion, doing good, bringing positivity to the most people possible. Taking it this way makes me feel genuinely excited about these things.

In other news, I had a minor internal tension towards P the other day. I got all rattled up because he doesn't eat as well as I think he should. I know, I know.. "i think he should" is very dangerous territory to trek and I'm trying my hardest to stay away.

I should say though, that he has come around to Jamie Oliver. He has made a number of recipes on his own and really liked them.

I know it's not up to me to feed him, and I don't want to do anything that resembles being a mother, but it makes me sad when he only eats once per day and doesn't take the time to get groceries to eat better. He says it's because he's busy, but... are adults less busy? are adults with full time jobs less busy? are adults with full time jobs and kids less busy? The answer is no, you have to make time to take care of yourself. It makes me sad because I know he enjoys cooking, but I guess he enjoys sleeping and working more than cooking.. for now anyway.

He'll be switching to day shift next week. A whole year of night shift is now coming to an end. Suddenly he's seeing all the benefits of working nights.

I don't like all the negativity I'm hearing in this post, but I had to get it off my chest. I care about him a lot, but he is his own person, and I know he does not like to be told what to do, so I have to back off... and I think that might not be as easy for me as I think.

I suppose I have my own control issues here...

Advice to myself: