The other night after my mom told me about her July operation we chatted for a bit and then hung up. Not 10 minutes later, P calls. I'm busy researching the abnormal cells and as soon as he asks me how I am, I fall silent. Holding back gulps, I tell him the news. He consoles me and says he'll be there later. He calls after work and shows up around 1am. He lightens the mood by talking about our mutual friend who recently got a girlfriend (a first it seems). He mentions something about his 'list'. The new girl isn't quite bilingual, he says, and that was one of the things on his list. I ask him what else is on it, he says: bilingual, sporty, and silly. It seems I fit the profile. We talk and giggle about it some more and then it hits me: oh my god, we're talking, really talking, he's being open, honest and lovely. We talk about love more than we ever have before. He says for him, love is something you have inside of you. It's yours. Your love doesn't necessarily die when a relationship ends because it's yours. Obviously, if a relationship does end, there's a point when you have to move on, and you can because you still have your love, it's not shattered and you're not shattered by this person's absence. This is an interesting theory, and I kind of like it. It sort of flows with the Buddhist stuff I've been reading.
Everything I wanted in the beginning of our relationship is now here, right in front of me. Patience. Wow -- it creates miracles. Letting this happen, I like this.
We spend the next day together - have breakfast at Le Zigoto, walk around looking for garage sales (unsuccessfully), then go home hang out and split for our separate social engagements.
We come back together that night after my dinner/movie and his wrap party. We talk some more, about my lack of tact (my words, not his) and he consoles me some more. It's not the first time he's been there for me, he was really there for me when my grandmother passed away, but it's the first time I felt him really there in the moment as it was happening. It's an incredible feeling.
Our other mutual friend Arl is leaving at the beginning of August. He's moving to Mexico to launch his career. His departure is earlier than we thought.. so their plans to make a film together are going to be put aside, and his absence is something i'll have to get used to sooner than later. He invited us to go visit him when he gets to Mexico. P asks 'you want to go to Mexico someday?' pausing, like he's asking a real question and waiting for a real answer, and I answer 'yeah, of course'. Looking into the future (with someone). Pretty nice.
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