"The Moon is Reaching For Me"

I've reached a point now where I feel exhausted and exhilarated. I remember a few months ago, we went to Toqué, the most expensive restaurant in the city, for a friend's birthday. For a moment, I stepped outside my body and found myself surrounded by these great people. I saw myself with them and felt jealous. I felt jealous of myself. It was a strange but wonderful feeling.

I feel like I've been patient, and I've built something beautiful with the people around me. I feel like I have everything I wanted. It's a strange but wonderful feeling.

My job is good and challenging (dealing with different kinds of people), my internship is fun, the journal is really picking up steam and I've somehow managed to get my need to consume under control. All in all, this was a summer of hard work. Work, work, and more work. Very rewarding, but also tiring.

I tried to go swimming last night for the first time in a few weeks. I only managed to swim for half the time I usually do. I felt overwhelmed and stressed. I wasn't able to relax, feel the water, and clear my head. My brain is unable to shut off these days... I fear that it will become worse during school.

I've decided what to do about grad schools. I'm going to apply to McGill for library studies, and Carleton for film studies. I'm keeping the PhD on the back burner for the moment, because I don't think I'm ready to leave the city and all the wonderful people here.

I can't believe I'm living the life I've always wanted.

Tonight, it's a Hepburn trilogy (Audrey for Funny Face and Sabrina, and Katherine for Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?).

I've got old movies on the brain and it feels great.