I've noticed I hold many things back from P. I know this is the worse thing to do in a relationship, because people always talk about how 'communication is key!', but I haven't figured out what that means yet...
Sometimes I feel like P avoids certain conversations. Not out of any negative sentiment, but probably because he's uncomfortable talking about them. Like the me wanting to see him more thing. I think he doesn't like risky topics. Risky in the sense that someone could get upset or hurt.
Whenever I feel like i'm holding back, I have a tendency to shut down a little bit. I retreat to my thoughts and try to figure out 'what went wrong'. A lot of the time I think the problem is mine, and that I created it on my own, instead of trying to deal with it with the person in question. This is not a great strategy since, I usually end up caving or blowing up a little bit.
I'm in a weird place right now... I'm unsure how to get out of it.
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