love

This is another email to remind myself how far I've come from when I started this blog. All the ups and down, which have settled over the last few years.

Today I feel like my love for P and with P is more multi-faceted than ever. It feels richer than before, kind of like how the essence of banana becomes stronger as it matures. Don't you like that analogy? I'm a romantic through and through, isn't it obvious?

But in all seriousness, I've had a couple of moments recently when I thought to myself "a few years ago, this would have been a thing that was hard for me to say, or hard for us to talk about" but now, we've just reached a point of understanding and calmness that is really nice.

I do have occasional lingering fears about "settling into a rut" which, I think is more in my nature than P's, because I just like being comfortable, but I think this awareness is helping me from settling too much. I still have that drive to do fun things, and to put effort into our activities, which is really nice.

Seeing as this is the longest relationship in my whole life, I'm kind of surprised that I still feel such energy after 3 years. I think it's a good sign.

In other news, I'm still struggling with self-worth... but I think it'll be a life long struggle, so here's a reminder to myself.

ADELE: today, remember that you felt SO loved. a deep kind of love. remember that you felt love for someone else. Remember that you are loved. Don't question it. Accept it.