I've spent the last few days thinking about this toronto-montreal question. The fact that I felt so urgently that I needed to find a way to get to toronto made me begin rethinking that urgency. I found myself thinking 'But if I stay in Montreal, it'll be two more years of this?!' That thought scared me, and made me feel like an asshole. Two more years of what? Awesome friends? Awesome boyfriend? Nice apartment? Reasonable rent? Good job? Good food? Familiarity? What was going on inside my head that made me sweep all that under the 'Toronto Rules' rug?!
Talking to everyone has made me know and feel all the great things I have around me. I don't feel desperate. The desperation I had related to the program has also dissipated. I check course by course what Toronto had vs. what McGill has, and come to find out, they are worded differently, but they are quite similar. I'm still worried that somehow I will miss opportunities by not going to Toronto (job-wise, or connection-wise), but I also think that it's important for me to consider where I want to live and make my life. I'm pretty sure it's not Toronto. Besides, I was thinking it could be cool to go there for a class or two, a workshop or two at some point in the next two years. I could create a link that way.
Another major factor influencing my decision is the fact that by saving all this money, I can have the flexibility to travel a little bit, save money to pay my debt, but more importantly, this money would alleviate some of the urgency I could feel after I graduate. The urgency to take a job, any job, to make my payments could trap me in something bad.
I do have a fear that staying here somehow means stagnating, but i'm not sure that's a fear I should indulge in.
I'm still on the fence. (Feedback from the peanut gallery would be appreciated)
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