As I typed this, I've just had a conversation with P that made me want to cry.
I told him randomly in a chat that I felt really balanced and that I want to try expressing when I feel balanced as much as when I feel confused. He responded positively. Then I asked him how he's feeling these days -- something I would have done with great hesitation and anxiety, if at all, in the times I felt less balanced vis-a-vis our relationship. He responded 'happy. toi?' and I responded by saying I feel like this:
and he responded with this:
he sent the image instantly, which leads me to believe he saved it somewhere, because he knows i like cute fox pictures.
Okay, okay, can the sentimentalism.
Things are great lately. Probably partly because I've been eating really well, sleeping well, working a lot -- ie. less money worries, making it a point to go outside, taking walks with P instead of sitting around. I've noticed walks are a great way to have a conversation. We chat during our walks, about things we might otherwise not discuss. Probably because walking just created the opportunity. I really like it.
I think I've been eating slightly less sugar (she says with two packages of Pepperidge Farms cookies on her bed), but I'm working on eating more veggies and fruit. It's easy to eat healthy when I make it a point to go to Jean-Talon. Going there makes me want to be so healthy.
In other news, I resolved my jealousy issue. I talked with my mom, she made me realise it was okay to feel what I was feeling, that I just had to go through it, and I did. I even went as far as talking to the person I was jealous of. I spilled my whole beans and left the conversation feeling much better about it; feeling like I had grown up, actually.
I feel sad Vnss is leaving, but I also feel happy that she's embarking on a new part of her life. Hanging around with her these last few weeks made me realise how much I miss her. All we did before was hang out like that : downtown, involving food, often films, and always walking. But Ottawa isn't far, so it'll be alright.
Right now, nothing much is bothering me, and that's a really good feeling. I feel really happy. C'est pas plus compliqué que ça!
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