Hiatus

It seems not only us amateur bloggers are taking a break from blogs during the holidays. My trusty design blogs have been slowing to a crawl.

I haven't been surfing them much anyway.. not only because the Internet is virtually non-existent at my folks' place, but also because I'm getting a media overdose at my dad's place. TV, Internet, Wii, and whatever other tech-gadget you couldn't possibly need.

On xmas day, I was at my mom's with my step-dad and aunt. We were waiting to make the supper and the power goes out. They live in a small house with a wood stove so heat was not an issue, but the turkey in the oven was. We left it in there to ultra-slow cook and spent our time talking and listening to the radio (which you have to crank to get working). It was really great.

My aunt and I left for civilization a while later since the power was still out. I went to my dad's and became overwhelmed by this sense of awkwardness. I'm having a weird time here.. walking around, feeling like a stranger, like I'm intruding on something.. I'm totally disconnected from them and I feel no attempt to bridge the gap. I'm not extremely bothered by this situation, but I feel like the effects will come out in a few weeks.

Generally, I'm feeling really calm.. 'at peace', if you will. Really happy about my life in montreal and the people I have the privilege to be around.

The New Guy, who will henceforth be known as P, called me the day I was arriving at my mom's place. I was a bit tired so I texted him back asking if I could call him the next day. In his message, he left me his parents' phone number -- I had a mini-dilemma about whether to call his cell, or the parent's place. I called the land-line. I called and said "Es-ce que je peux parler a P SVP?' and the motherly voice answered 'un instant svp' with a heavy English accent. Then I heard her yell 'P. Pp-p! Phone. I think it's Adl, it's a 506 number'. I smiled uncontrollably.

He answered the phone and calmness washed over me. We talked for a while, maybe 15-18 minutes. He said he played hockey and talked about how his holiday is usually spent with his nuclear family. There was maybe one or two silent moments, but they felt ok. I'm the one who ended the conversation (which is somewhat uncommon -- me always so eager to talk and all). I told him I'd call him later to see what his plans are for going back to the city.

On xmas day, I checked my email and to my surprise, there was one from him! He's so good with titles ('Un petit mot doux' and 'Late night letters'). This was sent before we had spoken, so some of it was repetitive, but interesting nonetheless. He finished the email with 'Je pense a ton joli sourire, xox P'

Why is it that all his sweet stuff doesn't gross me out like Sml's sweet stuff did? It's strange.. I feel like with P, I don't have the upper hand even though he is openly expressing his interest and I am a little more slow about it. With Sml, I felt like I had all the power and that made me sort of look down on his openness (whoa.. I just realized how mean that is of me..) and eventually lose interest.

I had a mini-drama in my head the other day when I was thinking of what this thing with P means when we go to school. Do I have to sit with him in class all the time? Spend the break with him? Have lunch with him everyday? What? My initial reaction was: I don't want to sit with him. I don't want anyone to know! I don't want to meet his schoolmates.

Then I thought about how he puts me at ease, and that could be nice at school. Although.. I'm still leaning towards taking it slow at school (but then again.. I said the same thing about sleeping with him and look how that ended up!) I'm worried I will settling into some sort of couple-y behavior and that everything will go to shit after that.

Then again, I feel pretty pumped about school again. I got my grades back, and I got what I deserved in Film Script Analysis (B+). I'm anxious to see my profs comments on my paper. I think she and I will become friends. I'm going to talk to her about graduate school. I'm also going to talk to the head archivist of the Concordia Archives about various archiving programs.

I'm trying to get a head-start. We'll see how this goes. I've got Tarkovsky waiting for me when I get back.