Mighty Girls!

This week started out rough, but ended up uncharacteristically light and bright. I had a good talk with P earlier this week post-'nobody cares about me!'. It happens to me every year around this time, I get lonely, feel disconnected. I remember two years ago I felt the same way, except I was single, so somehow it felt worse. I remember talking to my mom outside of the Concordia library and saying how I had tried to call my dad and we didn't connect, and I probably felt like my friends were busy (which they probably were -- hey! they were students! duh). I remember feeling totally lost and sad. It didn't feel exactly the same this time, but a combination of factors did cue a reminder. Everybody came to my rescue, of course. I think I have to trust and be more patient when it comes to this stuff.

I just found something on the (don't laugh) Oprah website about the ebb and flows of relationships:

Unlike dysfunction, healthy intimacy pulls away, bounces back, creates infinite fresh configurations. Trusting the rhythm of each relationship, rather than insisting on robotic consistency, will keep you from panicking when someone's boundaries move a bit toward or away from you. Insist on continuous connection with just one individual: your own self, who knows where to draw the boundary lines on any given day, with any given person.

I think it rings true, and it's something I have to constantly remind myself.

The week zipped by. I don't even remembered what I did half the time. I know I saw P on one afternoon. I went to a fish fry at a church with Vnss and Lv. Went to a sweet 80th birthday supper for a friend of P's family. Had his parents and sister over for brunch today -- big success. I made an egg bake with mushrooms and asparagus and goat cheese, with a garden salad, fruit salad, breakfast sausage, cantaloupe, a little nectarine-kiwi salad and some croissant. It was really great. All the colors were so pretty. It made a lovely plate. Before his parents arrived, P and I hung around and talked. It was a nice change. We're usually doing things all the time, we rarely sit on the couch and talk. I like how aware I am of when he chooses to open up. It feels kind of special every time.

I went swimming friday morning, and I had a great rest of day. I should should should go more often... but I'm going to hold off on the pressure for now.

This seems like a pretty cute website. Chin up! Let's be mighty!