I Want to Build Something

The weirdest thing happened today. I'm at work, working/gchatting with P about his two potential apartments (he's moving in July). One is located approx. 8 houses down from my place, and the other is on the west side of the mountain next to Monkland. For some reason as we were discussing this, I felt the sudden urge to cry. My eyes welled up a little bit, and my heart felt sad. Logically, I know that from the metro, it will be faster for him to get to my house, it's only 2 kilometers more than his current place, but it still made me want to cry. I told him this, and he reassured me that the decision was not made, that either way it would be okay, and that he too was sad to potentially be moving further away.

After this conversation, I began worrying about my 'desperation'. I felt a little bit of 'Adl, this is not a big deal, it does not merit drama', and then for some reason I felt relief at the thought of seeing him tonight. This worries me a little bit. I don't want to feel like that. I should be happy that he is in my life, I should be happy when I see him, but I should not be brought down by minor things like where he lives, or how often I see him. With our schedules, twice a week is great, anything more than that is a bonus.

The story on The Ex has been coming out bit by bit. This also freaks me out. I don't understand why. My curiosity about this is incredible, and I don't understand why I'm pumping it up to be this big thing, when in reality, it will likely be very conventional.

I now have this desire to build things out of wood. A desk, a shelf, a bureau, a bed, whatever. P offered his help which was very sweet. It would be cool to build something together (like a double bed... despite how great sleeping in singles is).

(Dream)