Pecan Chicken with Caramel-Citrus Vinaigrette

I am becoming an awesome cook. Awe-some! I made this delicious chicken thing for V tonight. Two (and a half) reasons I invited him for supper: 1. I like cooking good things for him. It's redeeming the bad cooking I've made him suffer. Also, I'm starting to like eating with people, I like sharing food now. I think I prefer eating with people than without.. which is a big deal for little-old-lonely-eater Adl. 2. I thought of it as a congratulatory supper: he got to part two of three of the Rhodes scholarship screening. I honestly think this is wonderful. I really hope he gets it (If only so he can disappear from my life for a while... giving me a chance to move on.) 2.5: I (fucking) love him, I want to be with him all the time (all the time I don't want to be alone), I want to cook for him, iron his pants before his big interview, talk about the futur, laugh at his funny jokes, make him laugh.. let him guess what's in the vinaigrette, eat mangos and have oreo eating races.



I know being with him is not helping. I decided I was going to tell him I didn't want to see him for a while. Let's just say, my last words were 'good luck'. Also, he mentionned going for a walk this weekend in nature. That sounds amazing right now. Walking in the peace and quiet.. maybe i'll get some New-Brunswick-ess clarity.

This situation is more annoying that anything else. As a wise friend said to me: 'he doesn't want to go all the way, but he doesn't want to let you go.' Adding my mom's words to this: 'You have to let him go.'

Limbo is not a place I like to be.

Montreal, however, is. The more I think of it.. the more I feel like I should stay here for graduate school.. Mcgill seems pretty decent. Vnss is doing so much cool stuff, it's really motivating me to go there. Besides, I'm rethinking archiving vs. librarianship. It's all very confusing. I almost want someone to decide for me. I know I would be a wicked librarian.



Libraries are where I like to be.

This website, among others, was sent to me by the one and only Jcq. Sometimes I feel like he's in my brain when I'm excited.

Going on a field trip tomorrow to the National Archives! Exciting!

The leaves are turning colors, the air is crisp, it feels really good to be here.