Weekend Getaway

This weekend I spend the whole long weekend at P's place in NDG. It was like a little vacation away from home. It was really nice to spend all that time together, but then again, I already knew it would feel like that!

We spent the lovely sunny weekend making food, talking walks, planting our herbs into bigger pots, and doing a giant Spring cleaning. First, you must know (if you don't already) that i'm a neat-neat-neat freak. Even worse than a few years ago. Almost as bad as my mom. Going to P's place had become a little, stressful for me... the dust, the dirt, the dishes! I had been asking him to let me help him tidy up his place, but week after week he rejected my offer. Finally, with no prospect of sun (after a week straight of rain, looking towards another week of rain is probably what made him crack), we spent our time inside scrubbing the kitchen floor, cleaning the counter, putting all the dishes in place, washing cruddy towels, and finally cleaning the bathroom sink. Although the weekend turned out to be beautiful, staying inside, putting a little bit of elbow grease into his place turned out to be really fun and satisfying.

I get a bizarre thrill from seeing dirty things shine after a quick wipe of a cloth.

A few weeks ago I had a few more pangs of doubt, but now, somehow they subsided. I kind of hate how my head/heart does that, but I guess it makes sense. Being okay with the ebbs and flows, that's the whole point.

Today I feel rested, and rejuvenated, with a little pang of missing P.

"You're too far"

Something has shifted recently and I finally put my finger on it. P and I have had our fair share of ups and downs recently, testing our usually smooth sailing relationship more than ever.

I feel like we've both grown a little more through them. This week we met up on wednesday to work on a project together (see even this is somewhat new!) and at some point while sitting on the couch watching the hockey game he said "you're too far". I was sitting right next to him! With my legs on his lap! I was right there, yet this was too far. These are the kind of things that are so sweet it makes my heart melt. This kind of I-can't-get-enough-of-you moment. That's when I knew, things were back to normal.

I've been feeling way more secure and generally we've been really synchronized. And it's times like these that I really know the effect that school stress has on me. During the whole winter we were not synchronized, and now that the crappy stress is gone -- boom! we're back!

Feels good.